We adopted our daughters from China when they were 9 1/2 months old. For the first three days, they had a heartbreakingly forlorn look on their faces. I can only imagine what they experienced. I’ve often thought that for children being adopted internationally, the encounter and adjustment period must feel like being kidnapped by aliens. My husband and I didn’t look, smell or sound the same as the people our daughters were used to in China. We didn’t even eat the same foods.
As I think about it, I’m sure most adopted and foster children must feel similarly. Even when a child goes to a family that is not trans-cultural or trans-racial, the mere fact of being swept away from all that is familiar must be terrifying.
Why do I mention this? Only to encourage families whose child is not bonding or is having difficulty adjusting to take heart. No matter how vehemently adoption professionals warn about the adjustment period, I think most parents hope deep down that there will be an instant “spark” and that the child will simply “take” to them. It seldom happens that way. But your child will adapt and bond to you. Sometimes it just takes longer than expected.